On the Road Again… Shoulda Been a Trucker, Y’all

Cue Willie Nelson because your girl was back behind the wheel, probably born to live life with bug guts on the windshield and snacks in the center console. Listen—I’ve had a revelation, and it’s big. Like, “life path missed by a mile marker” big.

I think I was meant to be an over-the-road trucker. I mean, seriously. These past few months have turned me into a highway queen. I’m out here hauling trailers, towing dollies with full-sized cars strapped on like it’s just another Tuesday. Who is she?!

I’m basically the Beyoncé of I-75.
CDL who? CDL me, maybe??

Let’s be real: I’ve become elite at long drives. Day, night, rain, shine, caffeine-fueled or not—I’m out here like a seasoned road warrior with Apple Music playlists that could raise the dead and snacks that would make a gas station clerk jealous.

This latest trek? Crushed it. Fourteen hours, baby. FOURTEEN. With a dang PT Cruiser strapped to the back like it was just hitching a ride to spring break. Didn’t even break a sweat—well, maybe a glow.

And let me tell you something: we drove 829 miles, and I never got used to seeing that PT Cruiser in the rearview. Every time I glanced up, my heart skipped a beat like, “Who’s tailgating me?!” Then I’d remember—oh yeah, it’s just my own personal ghost car creeping behind me like a haunted bumper buddy. It was giving Final Destination: Car Edition the entire trip.

We’re only in town for a few days, and who knows what kind of shenanigans we’ll find ourselves in this time. But if you hear about someone accidentally befriending an alligator, there’s a solid 87% chance it’s me.

XOXO,
Your Favorite (Unofficial) Trucker