Cue Willie Nelson because your girl was back behind the wheel, probably born to live life with bug guts on the windshield and snacks in the center console. Listen—I’ve had a revelation, and it’s big. Like, “life path missed by a mile marker” big.
I think I was meant to be an over-the-road trucker. I mean, seriously. These past few months have turned me into a highway queen. I’m out here hauling trailers, towing dollies with full-sized cars strapped on like it’s just another Tuesday. Who is she?!
I’m basically the Beyoncé of I-75.
CDL who? CDL me, maybe??
Let’s be real: I’ve become elite at long drives. Day, night, rain, shine, caffeine-fueled or not—I’m out here like a seasoned road warrior with Apple Music playlists that could raise the dead and snacks that would make a gas station clerk jealous.
This latest trek? Crushed it. Fourteen hours, baby. FOURTEEN. With a dang PT Cruiser strapped to the back like it was just hitching a ride to spring break. Didn’t even break a sweat—well, maybe a glow.
And let me tell you something: we drove 829 miles, and I never got used to seeing that PT Cruiser in the rearview. Every time I glanced up, my heart skipped a beat like, “Who’s tailgating me?!” Then I’d remember—oh yeah, it’s just my own personal ghost car creeping behind me like a haunted bumper buddy. It was giving Final Destination: Car Edition the entire trip.
We’re only in town for a few days, and who knows what kind of shenanigans we’ll find ourselves in this time. But if you hear about someone accidentally befriending an alligator, there’s a solid 87% chance it’s me.
XOXO,
Your Favorite (Unofficial) Trucker
