Live-Action Lilo & Stitch: Somebody Call Cobra Bubbles Because I Need Emotional Support

Let me start this off by saying I wanted to like it. I tried to like it. I sat down with my 3D glasses and Coke Zero in hand ready to be wrapped in a warm tropical hug of nostalgia and intergalactic chaos. But instead? I got a slow crawl through the sand, dragging my expectations behind me like Lilo dragging her poor dead fish Pudge to the beach.

This live-action Lilo & Stitch had potential, okay? Like, big blue alien crash-landing-in-Hawaii level potential. But instead of blasting off, this movie took a solid 45 minutes to even warm up. It was giving me more slow burn funeral march than chaotic family comedy with a side of sci-fi. I wasn’t looking for Oscar-worthy drama. I just wanted to see Stitch bite someone in the butt and Lilo go full-on feral in hula class. Is that too much to ask?

Let’s talk pacing. You know that feeling when you’re trying to microwave a burrito and it takes forever, and then the last 30 seconds it’s suddenly on fire? That was this movie. The first hour? Felt like I was watching someone think about maybe adopting a dog. It was all brooding glances, awkward pacing, and weirdly quiet energy—like the film was afraid to be fun. (Disney, baby, Stitch is literally a genetically-engineered chaos gremlin. LET HIM WRECK SOMETHING.)

Now to be fair, the last 30 minutes did try to save the whole thing. There was action. There was heart. There was a moment where I almost forgot I’d spent most of the movie checking my phone and wondering if Nani was gonna get a personality this time around. (Spoiler: kinda, but not enough.) Stitch finally acted like Stitch, Cobra Bubbles showed up (bless him), and I got a little misty-eyed during that iconic “ohana means family” speech. But was it enough to save the whole movie? Let me answer that with a definitive meh.

Look, I get that adapting animation into live-action is tricky. But the magic of the original Lilo & Stitch wasn’t just in the visuals—it was in the weirdness, the humor, the sibling chaos, and the emotional gut punches that came out of nowhere like a UFO in a Hawaiian thunderstorm. This version felt like it was afraid to be weird. And that’s the saddest part.

So if you’re curious, go ahead and watch it. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. And maybe keep your expectations as low as Stitch’s attention span.

Final Rating: 2.5 Elvis impersonators out of 5. One star for nostalgia, one for the last 30 minutes, and half a star for Stitch still being a little menace. The rest? Left floating in space.