Welpā¦day 14 of January, and Iāve officially proven (again) that I am not built for those āpost every single day for 365 daysā challenges. I missed a few daysā¦okay, several daysā¦BUT LISTEN. I kinda knew that was coming. Life has been life-ing, and your girl is doing her best.
I wanted to pop in today just to be honest with yāallābecause if I go quiet for a bit, I donāt want anyone thinking I fell off the face of the earth or got kidnapped by a rogue flamingo.
Iām heading into what might be the hardest monthā¦maybe twoā¦that Iāve ever had.
Monday is the one-year anniversary of when Nannie got sick. Weāre just a little over a month away from the one-year mark of when she left me. And then March 1stā¦wouldāve been JazzLynnās 7th birthday.
So yeahā¦if I seem a little more emotional, a little quieter, or like Iām walking around with that ātrying not to cry in the grocery store aisleā energyā¦thatās why.
Grief is weird. It doesnāt just show up and sit politely in the corner. It sneaks in when youāre folding laundry, or driving in silence, or making something you used to make for someone you love. And right now, itās already starting to hit me hard.
Iām going to try to check in at least once a week, but Iām also giving myself permission to step back if I need to. No guilt. No pretending. No forcing myself to be āfineā just to keep up with a calendar.
If I can find the time (and the motivation), Iām hoping I can get out and take more pictures during this season. Maybe itāll help keep my mind from spiraling and my heart from sitting in that heavy place too long. Maybe photography can be the thing that holds my hand through itāsomething quiet and steady when everything else feels loud.
Iām sorry to be such a downer today. I really am. But I also know thereās somebody reading this who understands exactly what I meanā¦because grief has a way of introducing itself to all of us sooner or later.
God bless yāall. Thank you for being here. And Iāll be back soon. ā¤ļø
