Florida, Bugs, and the Legend of Omgitswicks: A Cautionary Tale

You know you’ve officially crossed into “real Florida” territory when your husband won’t stop sending you Omgitswicks videos like it’s a full-time job. And honestly? I get it. Because if you want the no-frills, bless-your-heart, hold-my-flip-phone version of what’s actually happening in the Sunshine State, Omgitswicks is your man.

This dude? He will snatch up his 2002 flip phone, squint into the sun like a true Florida prophet, and tell you exactly what’s real, what’s fake, and why you should probably never wear open-toed shoes again.

(Seriously. Florida bugs are NOT playing around.)

Speaking of Bugs…

Lately, we’ve been prepping our boys for Florida life. You know, basic survival skills like:

• What to do when you see a bug the size of a small bird.
• How to determine if the thing flying toward you is a wasp, a hornet, or a new species that Florida just invented overnight.
• Why you don’t ask too many questions — you just RUN.

Every time the boys spot a new creepy-crawly, they hit us with one million rapid-fire questions:
“What is it? Does it bite? Can it fly? Can it swim? Will it steal my snacks?”

Y’all.
We just keep telling them the truth:
You ain’t seen bugs until you’re full-time in Florida.

Because the moment you cross the border, it’s like nature hits puberty and all the bugs start lifting weights and developing a mean streak.

And then — as if fate itself agreed with my assessment — I stumbled across an Omgitswicks video where he basically said what I’ve been screaming for months: 

It’s called “Puss caterpillars in Florida,” which basically reads: “Florida is prepubescent Australia.” 

I mean, tell me where the lie is.
We’ve got mini-versions of all the scary things:

• Gators instead of crocs,
• Humidity that feels like a personal attack,
• And bugs that wish they were Australian but are currently in their awkward “growing wings and developing rage” phase.

So if you’re planning to move to Florida, visit Florida, or even think about Florida… do yourself a favor:

• Watch some Omgitswicks.
• Invest in bug spray strong enough to kill a small dinosaur.
• And maybe… just maybe… keep your flip phone handy. You’re gonna need it.

Make sure you check out Omgitswicks on TikTok and his other platforms!!

#FloridaBugsBeLike #PrepubescentAustralia #SunshineStateProblems #BlessThisMess #FlipPhoneAndFear #SassInTheSwamp #OmgitswicksTaughtMe #HoldMyBugSpray