Operation: Light Lunch in Wesley Chapel (Spoiler: We Failed Gloriously)

Here’s the situation: I needed lunch. Something light. Something fresh. Something that wouldn’t make me regret all my life choices by 3 p.m. And since I still don’t know my way around Wesley Chapel without using GPS like it’s an oxygen mask, I turned to my loyal (and slightly nosy) sidekick: Google.

I told Google my dreams—light, tasty, maybe even cheap. Google laughed. I laughed. We cried. Because let’s be real: “cheap lunch” in 2025 is basically code for “do you want a napkin and a side of disappointment?”

At this point, I’m starting to accept that once we move, our diet might just be rotating between ramen and chicken nuggets. Maybe I’ll get creative. Maybe I’ll invent something gourmet and call it “Nuggét de Poulet avec Mac de Cheese.” But who am I kidding? I can’t cook. I’ve set off a smoke alarm boiling water. Twice.

So the boys started chanting “burgers!” like a ritual to summon a food truck, and my husband gave me the classic “I’ll eat anything” shrug (his Olympic sport, honestly). I was still trying to be good—y’know, inflammation and all—so we compromised and landed at BurgerMonger.

It’s burgers galore at Burger Monger: beef, chicken, hot dogs, fries, tots, milkshakes, and enough fried things to make your arteries sing.

The boys each got a burger the size of their heads, and I stayed on my “less red meat” path and went for the Aloha Chicken Sandwich. Let me paint the picture: giant breaded chicken patty (grilled available, but I like to live dangerously), bacon (sorry, body), pineapple slice (which makes it healthy, right?), and a slather of Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce. It was good. Like, “I briefly forgot I was in a strip mall” good.

Of course, I made one critical error: I got the Snickers Supreme Milkshake, expecting a religious experience. Instead, I got a “meh” in a cup. Not awful, just… forgettable. Which is rude, considering it cost more than my first car payment (exaggeration, but only barely).

Post-lunch, we decided to stretch our legs and our stomachs with a walk around the community lake. Nature was doing its thing—birds flying, sun shining, kids poking things with sticks. The boys found some cool Apple Snail shells, which they now treasure like ancient relics. And yes, we spotted yet another gator. I’m starting to think they’re watching us.

Now we’re back home, and I’m horizontal for the foreseeable future. In a few hours, we hit the road again, back to Kentucky. Which means snacks, music, mild road rage, and questioning why I didn’t just become a hermit in the woods or say no to the boys and just stay in Kentucky these last three days.

Wish me luck—and if you find any miracle places to eat in Wesley Chapel that don’t cost a small fortune, send ‘em my way. I’m still dreaming of that “light, cheap” lunch unicorn.