Pizza, Pizza (Regret, Regret) – My Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Adventure
Let’s talk fast food, friends. You ever see a commercial so many times it basically hypnotizes you? That was me with the Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Pizza with Cheese Sauce. Every time it popped up on my screen, I was like, “Ohhh I NEED that salty, cheesy nonsense in my life.” I imagined myself biting into pretzel-y perfection, the cheese sauce dripping like a scene from a rom-com where the pizza is the main character.
So naturally, I gave in. We loaded the crew into the truck and drove the two short miles to the shiny new Little Caesars in Wesley Chapel. (Like brand new—they haven’t even had their grand opening yet, so we were out here being pizza pioneers.)
Here’s where the plot twists harder than a pretzel knot.
We get home. We open the box. We bite in. And…
Cue the dramatic zoom-in and sad violin music.
Where. Is. The. Crust.
I mean, seriously—did someone steamroll this thing before they boxed it? It was flatter than my energy after 3 p.m. And that’s when it hit me…
OH RIGHT. THIS is why I don’t mess with Little Caesars.
I had blocked it out like a toxic ex. But it all came rushing back: the ghost of pizzas past—underbaked crusts, sad textures, and flavor that whispers instead of sings. Don’t get me wrong, the stuffed pretzel part was actually kind of delicious, but the rest? Basically just pizza-flavored cardboard with a salt rim.
And to top it all off—they overcooked it. Like, crispy-on-accident overcooked. So we called. To their credit, the staff was super nice, apologized, and remade the whole thing. Four hours later, we picked up the replacement pizzas for dinner. The boys were thrilled. I, however, stared into the cheesy abyss and said, “Never again.”
So, if you’ve been drooling over the commercial like I was—sure, go ahead and try it. Maybe you’ll love it. Maybe you’ll be one of the chosen ones who gets a crust that actually supports its toppings. But as for me?
I remembered exactly why I broke up with Little Caesars years ago. And baby, some things are better left in the past.
