Dear Sugar and Caffeine: It’s Not Me, It’s You.
Listen.
We’ve had some good times.
You, me, a venti caramel macchiato with extra drizzle and a pastry (or three) on the side.
We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. But I think it’s time we have the talk.
Sugar, Caffeine — you’re toxic.
Not in a fun, Britney Spears way either. I’m talking “I feel like a cracked-out raccoon who hasn’t slept since 2019” kind of toxic.
The signs have been there for a while:
- My energy spikes are shorter than my patience on Mondays.
- My afternoon crashes are Oscar-worthy performances of someone “needing just a tiny nap” and waking up three hours later looking like I fought a bear.
- And my skin? Sis, my pores are hosting a block party and didn’t even invite me. Rude.
So here we are.
Facing facts.
Having uncomfortable conversations.
Realizing that maybe I don’t need six cups of coffee to be a person.
Maybe I don’t need a Kit-Kat at 10:30 AM just because my inbox gave me side-eye.
Maybe — just maybe — I can eat a vegetable and survive.
Will it be easy?
Absolutely not.
There will be tears. There will be cravings. There will be moments where I stare lovingly into the pantry whispering, “What we had was real.”
Will I be dramatic about it?
Obviously. Have you met me?
But you know what? I’m tired of feeling like a trash goblin by 2 PM. I deserve better. I deserve consistent energy. I deserve to not consider lying down in a Walmart aisle every time I leave the house.
So here’s the plan:
- Less caffeine. More water. Maybe one (1) coffee per day like a normal adult.
- Less sugar. More real foods. Things that grew from the ground and didn’t come in shiny wrappers.
- More sleep. Less revenge-scrolling until 2 AM. (This one hurts me more than it hurts you.)
I’m not saying I’m cutting sugar and caffeine completely — let’s not get crazy — but it’s time to set some boundaries.
Healthy ones.
Adult ones.
Ones where my snack options don’t sound like a Halloween party guest list.
Wish me luck.
And if you see me weeping softly into a kale salad, just know: I’m healing.
#HealthEra #NewMeWhoDis #SendHelpAndSalads
